Several people in the Executive Suite had told me that Hellen was a bit strange but I ignored their warnings. Then one morning she approached me and engaged me in conversation.
“I’m supposed to share something with you” she said. “Have you got a few minutes?”
“Sure” I replied.
“Let’s go to the conference room” she said beginning to walk in that direction.
The warning from John flashed through my mind but now my curiosity was peaked. I had to find out for myself. As we entered the small conference room I noticed that she was carrying two yellow pads. She gestured for me to have a seat at the end of the conference table. As I sat down I noticed she was wearing an unusual all-knowing smile. My curiosity was growing rapidly. What did she know that I didn’t?
She sat down beside me and began to explain what was about to happen. I was staring intently at her but for some reason I was only half-listening. She was saying that I was going to hear voices and that I was to write down on the yellow pad whatever I heard. She was very persuasive. I could tell that she really believed what she was saying. I nodded politely. She explained the format the information would take and how I was to write it on the pad. Again I nodded, still staring at her intently. She said that she would sit at the other end of the table so as not to disturb my concentration. She moved to the other end of the table and sat down.
I waited in silence, not really expecting anything to happen. A smile crept across my face as the warnings about Hellen flashed back into my mind. And then I heard it. For a moment I was frozen. I forgot completely about writing down what I heard. Then there was more and instinctively I began to write. The flow of words was such now that I had to struggle to keep up. My mind began to race. What was happening? Where were these words coming from? They could not be coming from the person who identified himself as the sender at the beginning of the message. It could not be. I raced to transcribe the words.
My mind was trying to figure out what was going on? Was this some kind of telepathy? I had read about the experiments at Duke University, guessing playing cards or identifying circles, squares and triangles, but never anything like this. The words just kept coming. Somehow I could hear the words, transcribe them and have a conversation with myself all at the same time. I was already on the second page. How long would this continue?
Now I was on the third page and I seemed to be writing faster and faster. I was still talking to myself. No explanation made any sense. I finally just surrendered. And then there was silence. My hand had stopped moving. It was over. I felt an enormous sense of relief. I don’t know how long I sat there. I flipped back through the three pages. The words were there. It had really happened. I suddenly realized that my heart was pounding at a frightening rate. Something beyond my ability to understand had just happened. My response to it was somewhere between amazement and fear.
Then I remembered that Hellen was in the room. I looked up and there was that pleasant, all-knowing smile. She stood up, picked up her yellow pad and began to walk toward me. She placed her yellow pad carefully beside mine and silently gestured toward the two pads. I noticed that she had also written on her pad. At first glance a few words seemed to be the same. Then I looked more closely. I read back and forth from her pad to mine and back again. I flipped to the second page… then the third page. Now I was truly stunned. The words on her yellow pad were exactly the same as mine. She had heard the same voice! I was paralyzed. I couldn’t move or even think. I just sat there staring at what appeared to be a miracle.
She picked up her yellow pad and started toward the door. With her hand on the door knob she turned and said quietly “Maybe we can get together again sometime soon?” I nodded politely and the door closed behind her.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
I'VE GOT IT!
I am going to be a writer. Finally, I know how. I will write about everything. I will write about cars, where they have been and where they are going. I will write about the people in the cars, what they are thinking, saying and doing. I will write about the people I meet.
When I do this, I am a writer. I will write at least 1000 words per day about something. Because I write at least 1000 words per day, I am a writer and because I am a writer, I write at least 1000 words per day. I’ve got it! Now I am a writer. How do I keep motivated to continue to write?
Some of what I write I put into my blog, Lane-A-Gram.blogspot.com. I visualize people reading my blog and communicating with me about my stories and my ideas. I see them telling other people about my writing and those other people coming to my blog. I see the people who read my blog becoming interested in Patternology and the work I do. Therefore, I am able to help more and more people. Marriages are saved. People are more successful financially. Chronic stress related health problems disappear. People are happier. In my blog I share the success stories of my clients. Since we teach our clients to do 80% of the work, the success stories are their stories. The more I write, the more people I am able to help. The more people I help, the more people talk about my work and my writing and therefore, the more I want to write.
Soon I have more clients than I can handle personally and I add more people to my team. With more people on my team, I help more people and now there are even more people reading what I write. I write about the successes clients experience when using Patternology. Their stories inspire others to undertake the process of change. Therefore, we enjoy a continual flow of referrals from people who have changed their lives with Patternology. People who read my blog invite us to speak to their groups and even more people are touched by Patternology. And so the cycle goes – more writing, more exposure, more inquiries for information, more clients and more staff.
Now I have a clear picture of the benefits of my writing and now I am motivated by that picture. I carry that picture with me everywhere I go. I look at that picture morning, noon and night. I internalize that picture. I am in the picture and the picture is in me. Soon the picture begins to direct my feelings and my thoughts and my actions. I feel like a successful writer and I think like one. I am becoming the picture. In the picture I am a writer. I’ve got it!
Why did I pick a goal of 1000 words per day? That does not seem like a big accomplishment. We need to learn from those who have gone before us. We need to benefit from their experience. One of my early mentors was Paul J Meyer, the founder of Success Motivation Institute. Goal setting was an integral part of his success in building an empire of 40 companies. A number of these organizations were international in scope.
Paul was one of the first (if not the first) to teach the importance of setting “smart” goals. He used the acronym SMART to describe goals that were specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and tangible. Writing 1000 words per day meets these criteria. Also, this was the habit developed by Jack London who was one of the most prolific writers of all time, so it is a tried and tested formula. No need to reinvent the wheel. Find someone who is or was successful at what you want to do and model their attitudes and behavior.
One of the main benefits of this picture I carry with me is to keep me focused. Most successful people have the ability and habit of staying focused. Thomas Edison is supposed to have made 10,000 attempts before he created the light bulb. Imagine how long it would have taken if he could not stay focused. Learning from Edison’s experience, I guess it is OK for me to make a few mistakes as a writer. If I try a few combinations of words that don’t work, the world will not come to an end. Temporary failure is our friend if we learn from him.
Now how can you use this process to fulfill your dream? What one thing could you do that would have the greatest impact on your life? If you were guaranteed that you could not fail, what would you be doing? Imagine that you have a magic wand that will help you discover your passion and achieve it.
Take out a yellow pad and begin to write. Touch the paper with the magic wand. What will change your life the way writing is changing mine. What are you avoiding due to a fear of failure? What if God told you that you were going to fail five times before you succeed? What would you do? Probably get started right away so you could get those five failures out of the way! What if the number you were given was ten? Your answer would probably be the same. Get the failures and mistakes out of the way as soon as possible. What a refreshing new perspective: Eliminate the ways that don’t work and you are left with your light bulb, your great new idea. That was clearly one of Thomas Edison’s keys to success. He was not afraid to fail temporarily. You never really fail until you quit trying. Remember that the only people who never make a mistake are the people who don’t do anything. It has been suggested that those who fail the most also succeed the most. Babe Ruth held both the strike out and home run records simultaneously.
Take out a piece of paper and begin to write. What have you got to lose? I’ve got it. You can get it too.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
NO TIME FOR SILENCE?
Today there seems to be so little time for silence. When we get in the car, no matter how short the trip, we seem compelled to turn on the radio or listen to a CD. If we take a walk or exercise, we are hooked to our ipod. If we have a free moment, we are connected to our Smart phone. In the house we push out silence by turning the on TV as background noise, even if we are too busy to watch it. And of course, we work in our favorite social media whenever we can (Facebook, Twitter…).
Whatever happened to silence? If we want to hear that Still Small Voice, we need to schedule more time for silence. Think about it.
Whatever happened to silence? If we want to hear that Still Small Voice, we need to schedule more time for silence. Think about it.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
THE VISALIA INSIGHT “A new perspective on personal relationships”
THE VISALIA INSIGHT
My wife, Irene, my daughter, Kim, and I were having dinner one Friday evening in Visalia, California. During the dinner a concept was broached that will affect my life for many years to come. The basic idea was put forth by my daughter, Kim, and then discussed and developed during the evening by the three of us.
The Basic Problem
In most families each person is trying to satisfy many of their own personal needs (emotional, physical, financial…) via their personal relationship with the other family members. The other family members are frequently not focused on making this happen. Instead, they are each focused on their own personal needs.
In addition, to make matters more complicated, often each family member is the victim of self-limiting and sometimes self-destructive attitudes and behaviors, which limit their ability to clearly understand and fulfill their own needs, much less the needs of others.
Therefore, the situation in many families is that most members of the family are unfulfilled and not strongly motivated to try to help other family members fulfill their needs. Sometimes family members feel a sense of competition with each other.
If our expectations are based on our fellow family members helping us to fulfill our needs and dreams and goals, we may be frustrated and doomed to failure from the start. In other words, we can only control what we give, not what we receive.
The Second Part of the Concept: GET CONNNECTED!
Each family member might be better served by focusing on a primary relationship with what they perceive to be the Intelligence that created and maintains the universe, instead of making their primary relationship(s) with other family members.
If they make their primary relationship with their Creator, they are partnering with someone who is not limited by self-destructive patterns. With a stronger partner each family member would enjoy a much better chance of being fulfilled and less of a possibility of being disappointed.
Using Patternology daily, we will BE CLEAR as to what that Intelligence expects of us and we will have the best chance of following through on those instructions in a timely manner. These instructions come to us from what we refer to as “SPIRIT.”
“SPIRIT” is an acronym I was given at the time I received the first part of THE GIFT of PATTERNOLOGY.
S System
P Providing
I Inner
R Resources
I In
T Time (
(Inner Resources: the magic that heals a cut finger or broken bone, the strength to save a trapped child)
(In Time: “In Time” means in a timely manner)
Anyone can connect with this SPIRIT by following a simple but precise procedure we call the BE CLEAR process. We will be happy to share with you a copy of this process. We do not suggest that this is the only process by which you can receive guidance but it is a method that seems to work for everyone and it does bypass your ego. This process provides us with specific guidance in the seven areas of our lives on a daily basis and is one key to stress free living.
The seven areas of our life I refer to are:
MENTAL & SPIRITUAL PRACTICES
ACTIVITIES TO DEVELOP HEALTH & ENERGY
STEPS TOWARD FINANCIAL SECURITY
FAMILY & HOME ACTIVITIES
CAREER & BUSINESS ACHIEVEMENTS
LEARNING & TEACHING ACTIVITIES
SOCIAL & RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES
The second part of the BE CLEAR process is to ask yourself (you are really asking SPIRIT) “If I was guaranteed that I could not fail, what would I be doing today?” This question temporarily sweeps away your limitations. Give thought to all seven areas of your life. You will be amazed by the exciting new ideas that will flow into your mind. Be sure to write down these new ideas immediately, preferably in the same place each day.
~~~~~~~~~~`
Most of us are determined to be self-sufficient. We spend most of our time trying to solve our own problems. In fact, we take great pride in being able to solve our own problems. Along with that pride comes worry and stress and the fear of failure or fear of success. We only try to communicate with SPIRIT when we find ourselves unable to handle our current situation, then we ask for help – and that seems perfectly natural to us.
The Bible suggests that we would be better off to be more humble and not so self-sufficient. We are told to allow ourselves to be guided in everything. In 1st Peter, Chapter 5: verses 6-7 we find
So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in his good time he will honor you. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you. (New Living Translation)
You’ll notice that it does not say to hand off your tough problems to SPIRIT. It says that we should give all our worries to Him. Using the BE CLEAR process every morning will do just that.
The Third Part of the Concept: Eliminate Fears & Blocks
If you use the BE CLEAR process every morning, your only real obstacles will be your own self- limiting and self-destructive attitudes and behaviors which keeps you from understanding what your Creator wants you to do, or which, even if you understand what is expected, keeps you from following through and doing your Creator’s will. How often do we know what to do, how to do it and even why we should be doing something but… we don’t take the appropriate action in a timely manner?
Therefore, we must regularly practice Patternology™ to eliminate our self-limiting and self-destructive patterns so that we may enjoy the maximum benefit of our primary relationship with the Higher Intelligence within us. Using the Eliminating Invisible Barriers (EIB) process we can neutralize self-limiting patterns such as procrastination, fear of or expectation of failure in certain areas of our life, uncontrolled anger, blocks against setting or pursuing personally meaningful goals, eating disorders, financial self-sabotage and many other undesirable patterns. (Ask about our EIB process.)
The Fourth Part of the Concept: Support Your Neighbor
Part four of the concept will probably happen naturally. We each need to focus on fulfilling the needs of our fellow family members and not just selfishly focus on fulfilling our own needs. We need to let go and let SPIRIT take care of our needs. SPIRIT’s guidance empowers us individually and shows us where and how to support others.
For example, there are currently eight people living in our home. Using this model, seven people would be working to fulfill my needs and dreams and goals instead of just me. This would be true for each family member. Seven other people, including myself, would be working to help them fulfill their needs. This model provides maximum support for each family member.
Following this model our primary relationship is with SPIRIT. Our primary responsibility is to BE CLEAR as to what SPIRIT expects of us one day at a time and to follow those instructions to the best of our ability. Our secondary relationships are supporting others the way we are being supported by SPIRIT… that is with unconditional love.
Under this model the “family” we are to support extends beyond the house we live in and our blood relatives. All mankind (and women and children too ) become our brothers and sisters. The person next to us becomes our purpose. In other words, SPIRIT empowers us and we support everyone else.
Instead of focusing on finding ways to help our brothers and sisters, we often remain self-absorbed. If we have any time or energy left over, then we think about helping our neighbors. Most of our focus is on me, me, me and we tend to attract not what we want or need but who we are (other folks who are also self-absorbed). And we wonder why we often feel isolated and alone. Action equals reaction. The more people we help, the more people we will find who want to help us.
However, when we follow this new model, we help others with a much different attitude. When we support others we do not expect anything from them. We do not even need thanks. Why? We are not doing it for them. We are doing it for SPIRIT. In supporting others we are doing SPIRIT’s work. Daily SPIRIT will show us where we are needed. SPIRIT takes care of our needs so that we are free to help others! We are to support others the way we are supported.
If everyone would communicate with SPIRIT each morning and followed SPIRIT’s guidance as to what they needed to do that day, every individual would be empowered and every person that that individual came in contact with that day would be supported in just the right way.
In other words, if everyone communicated with SPIRIT every morning before starting their day, everyone’s needs could be taken care of perfectly. If everyone’s needs were taken care of perfectly every day, we would all experience much more love and harmony and peace with a maximum of productivity and prosperity.
Again, the key to achieving this perfect situation: Each day we need to allow SPIRIT to take care of our needs and to empower us while we support everyone around us. This routine would make life truly a MAGIC JOURNEY.
My wife, Irene, my daughter, Kim, and I were having dinner one Friday evening in Visalia, California. During the dinner a concept was broached that will affect my life for many years to come. The basic idea was put forth by my daughter, Kim, and then discussed and developed during the evening by the three of us.
The Basic Problem
In most families each person is trying to satisfy many of their own personal needs (emotional, physical, financial…) via their personal relationship with the other family members. The other family members are frequently not focused on making this happen. Instead, they are each focused on their own personal needs.
In addition, to make matters more complicated, often each family member is the victim of self-limiting and sometimes self-destructive attitudes and behaviors, which limit their ability to clearly understand and fulfill their own needs, much less the needs of others.
Therefore, the situation in many families is that most members of the family are unfulfilled and not strongly motivated to try to help other family members fulfill their needs. Sometimes family members feel a sense of competition with each other.
If our expectations are based on our fellow family members helping us to fulfill our needs and dreams and goals, we may be frustrated and doomed to failure from the start. In other words, we can only control what we give, not what we receive.
The Second Part of the Concept: GET CONNNECTED!
Each family member might be better served by focusing on a primary relationship with what they perceive to be the Intelligence that created and maintains the universe, instead of making their primary relationship(s) with other family members.
If they make their primary relationship with their Creator, they are partnering with someone who is not limited by self-destructive patterns. With a stronger partner each family member would enjoy a much better chance of being fulfilled and less of a possibility of being disappointed.
Using Patternology daily, we will BE CLEAR as to what that Intelligence expects of us and we will have the best chance of following through on those instructions in a timely manner. These instructions come to us from what we refer to as “SPIRIT.”
“SPIRIT” is an acronym I was given at the time I received the first part of THE GIFT of PATTERNOLOGY.
S System
P Providing
I Inner
R Resources
I In
T Time (
(Inner Resources: the magic that heals a cut finger or broken bone, the strength to save a trapped child)
(In Time: “In Time” means in a timely manner)
Anyone can connect with this SPIRIT by following a simple but precise procedure we call the BE CLEAR process. We will be happy to share with you a copy of this process. We do not suggest that this is the only process by which you can receive guidance but it is a method that seems to work for everyone and it does bypass your ego. This process provides us with specific guidance in the seven areas of our lives on a daily basis and is one key to stress free living.
The seven areas of our life I refer to are:
MENTAL & SPIRITUAL PRACTICES
ACTIVITIES TO DEVELOP HEALTH & ENERGY
STEPS TOWARD FINANCIAL SECURITY
FAMILY & HOME ACTIVITIES
CAREER & BUSINESS ACHIEVEMENTS
LEARNING & TEACHING ACTIVITIES
SOCIAL & RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES
The second part of the BE CLEAR process is to ask yourself (you are really asking SPIRIT) “If I was guaranteed that I could not fail, what would I be doing today?” This question temporarily sweeps away your limitations. Give thought to all seven areas of your life. You will be amazed by the exciting new ideas that will flow into your mind. Be sure to write down these new ideas immediately, preferably in the same place each day.
~~~~~~~~~~`
Most of us are determined to be self-sufficient. We spend most of our time trying to solve our own problems. In fact, we take great pride in being able to solve our own problems. Along with that pride comes worry and stress and the fear of failure or fear of success. We only try to communicate with SPIRIT when we find ourselves unable to handle our current situation, then we ask for help – and that seems perfectly natural to us.
The Bible suggests that we would be better off to be more humble and not so self-sufficient. We are told to allow ourselves to be guided in everything. In 1st Peter, Chapter 5: verses 6-7 we find
So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in his good time he will honor you. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you. (New Living Translation)
You’ll notice that it does not say to hand off your tough problems to SPIRIT. It says that we should give all our worries to Him. Using the BE CLEAR process every morning will do just that.
The Third Part of the Concept: Eliminate Fears & Blocks
If you use the BE CLEAR process every morning, your only real obstacles will be your own self- limiting and self-destructive attitudes and behaviors which keeps you from understanding what your Creator wants you to do, or which, even if you understand what is expected, keeps you from following through and doing your Creator’s will. How often do we know what to do, how to do it and even why we should be doing something but… we don’t take the appropriate action in a timely manner?
Therefore, we must regularly practice Patternology™ to eliminate our self-limiting and self-destructive patterns so that we may enjoy the maximum benefit of our primary relationship with the Higher Intelligence within us. Using the Eliminating Invisible Barriers (EIB) process we can neutralize self-limiting patterns such as procrastination, fear of or expectation of failure in certain areas of our life, uncontrolled anger, blocks against setting or pursuing personally meaningful goals, eating disorders, financial self-sabotage and many other undesirable patterns. (Ask about our EIB process.)
The Fourth Part of the Concept: Support Your Neighbor
Part four of the concept will probably happen naturally. We each need to focus on fulfilling the needs of our fellow family members and not just selfishly focus on fulfilling our own needs. We need to let go and let SPIRIT take care of our needs. SPIRIT’s guidance empowers us individually and shows us where and how to support others.
For example, there are currently eight people living in our home. Using this model, seven people would be working to fulfill my needs and dreams and goals instead of just me. This would be true for each family member. Seven other people, including myself, would be working to help them fulfill their needs. This model provides maximum support for each family member.
Following this model our primary relationship is with SPIRIT. Our primary responsibility is to BE CLEAR as to what SPIRIT expects of us one day at a time and to follow those instructions to the best of our ability. Our secondary relationships are supporting others the way we are being supported by SPIRIT… that is with unconditional love.
Under this model the “family” we are to support extends beyond the house we live in and our blood relatives. All mankind (and women and children too ) become our brothers and sisters. The person next to us becomes our purpose. In other words, SPIRIT empowers us and we support everyone else.
Instead of focusing on finding ways to help our brothers and sisters, we often remain self-absorbed. If we have any time or energy left over, then we think about helping our neighbors. Most of our focus is on me, me, me and we tend to attract not what we want or need but who we are (other folks who are also self-absorbed). And we wonder why we often feel isolated and alone. Action equals reaction. The more people we help, the more people we will find who want to help us.
However, when we follow this new model, we help others with a much different attitude. When we support others we do not expect anything from them. We do not even need thanks. Why? We are not doing it for them. We are doing it for SPIRIT. In supporting others we are doing SPIRIT’s work. Daily SPIRIT will show us where we are needed. SPIRIT takes care of our needs so that we are free to help others! We are to support others the way we are supported.
If everyone would communicate with SPIRIT each morning and followed SPIRIT’s guidance as to what they needed to do that day, every individual would be empowered and every person that that individual came in contact with that day would be supported in just the right way.
In other words, if everyone communicated with SPIRIT every morning before starting their day, everyone’s needs could be taken care of perfectly. If everyone’s needs were taken care of perfectly every day, we would all experience much more love and harmony and peace with a maximum of productivity and prosperity.
Again, the key to achieving this perfect situation: Each day we need to allow SPIRIT to take care of our needs and to empower us while we support everyone around us. This routine would make life truly a MAGIC JOURNEY.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
What A Day
The Castroville Community Thanksgiving Dinner was put together by 296 volunteers. It was quite inspirational watching the day unfold. In addition to the huge sit down dinner at the Castroville City Recreation Center, the organizers also brought food to two women’s shelters, the Victory Mission, AMR (the local ambulance company whose team members had to work throughout the county on the holiday) and Dorothy’s Kitchen (a team that feeds the homeless daily throughout the year).
The size of the effort was mind boggling: 70 turkeys, 28 hams, 100 cases of vegetables/salad and 5 gallons of dressing, 10 paint cans of potatoes, 400 pounds of dressing, 1500 rolls and to top it off, 187 pies. In addition to 1300 people enjoying dinner, the team also provided 768 bags of groceries for the families to take home.
All of this was made possible by contributions… of food, time and money, from individuals and organizations. There were also hundreds and hundreds of placemats created by local school children. Watching the smiles on the faces of the volunteers and hearing them already planning to be back next year was priceless. People really enjoy helping others.
The size of the effort was mind boggling: 70 turkeys, 28 hams, 100 cases of vegetables/salad and 5 gallons of dressing, 10 paint cans of potatoes, 400 pounds of dressing, 1500 rolls and to top it off, 187 pies. In addition to 1300 people enjoying dinner, the team also provided 768 bags of groceries for the families to take home.
All of this was made possible by contributions… of food, time and money, from individuals and organizations. There were also hundreds and hundreds of placemats created by local school children. Watching the smiles on the faces of the volunteers and hearing them already planning to be back next year was priceless. People really enjoy helping others.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
A NEW THANKSGIVING TRADITION
At thanksgiving we traditionally give thanks for our blessings, the good things that have happened to us during the year. These blessings might traditionally include things like being happy and healthy, safe and secure, prosperous and loving.
At breakfast yesterday it occurred to me that it would increase our happiness if we could find blessings in more places, even in places that other people consider bad.
For example, many people think of this “down” economy as a bad thing and this leads to lots of unhappiness. I asked myself, "Are there blessings in experiencing this “down” economy?" After a bit of thought I realized that this current economic situation might be one of our biggest blessings.
At first glance, situations like the rampant unemployment, the real estate devaluation and tight money appear to be anything but a blessing. However, these situations are stopping us from practices which we grew to accept as normal, which in fact were quite self-destructive.
Dr Thomas Stanley, in his enlightening book The Millionaire Next door, suggests that the true measure of wealth is not how many expensive toys you own or even how high your income, but how long you can live without the need to go to work to earn an income.
When I read that statement I remembered a drive I took many years ago through Hillsborough, California. Hillsborough is one of the wealthiest communities in America and has the highest income of places in the United States with populations of at least 10,000 (Wikipedia). I was struck by the fact that as I passed hundreds of homes I did not see one brand new car. Most of the automobiles were at least two or three years old.
However, even in our little town of Salinas, California prior to our economic slide I saw big new Mercedes sedans and BMW’s everywhere. A couple of years into our “down” economy that situation has changed dramatically. My wife and I personally know many folks who no longer sport their big expensive luxury car. Is that a bad situation? Or is it in reality a blessing?
As a child one of my favorite relatives was Uncle Bud. Uncle Bud used to say again and again “Our disappointments are our blessings in disguise, because they teach us things we would not have learned otherwise.”
Perhaps the “down” economy has helped many folks learn what the residents of Hillsboro and the millionaire next door already knew. Ignoring for a moment the temporary pain they must experience, losing their excessively expensive luxury cars may have been one of the best things that ever happened to them.
For years I have watched Realtors work with clients to see "how much" house they could qualify for and usually the clients were guided to purchase the biggest house possible. This consideration always seemed to be much more important than the client’s needs. The game seemed to be to move into bigger and bigger houses... with bigger and bigger mortgages. This process frequently necessitated both husband and wife working just to survive. If anything goes wrong, like losing a job or medical problems, they are in over their heads.
This “down” economy has highlighted the fact that many of us live too close to the edge. We are in some ways like children who want more and more candy until it makes them sick. Financial stress plays a significant role in most divorces and exacerbates many health challenges and yet we continue to stretch ourselves to the limit.
Perhaps the blessing of our “down” economy will motivate us to focus more on saving and tithing. Think for a moment what a blessing it would be to have less financial stress in our lives. That would really be something to give thanks for and not just on the fourth Thursday in November!
At breakfast yesterday it occurred to me that it would increase our happiness if we could find blessings in more places, even in places that other people consider bad.
For example, many people think of this “down” economy as a bad thing and this leads to lots of unhappiness. I asked myself, "Are there blessings in experiencing this “down” economy?" After a bit of thought I realized that this current economic situation might be one of our biggest blessings.
At first glance, situations like the rampant unemployment, the real estate devaluation and tight money appear to be anything but a blessing. However, these situations are stopping us from practices which we grew to accept as normal, which in fact were quite self-destructive.
Dr Thomas Stanley, in his enlightening book The Millionaire Next door, suggests that the true measure of wealth is not how many expensive toys you own or even how high your income, but how long you can live without the need to go to work to earn an income.
When I read that statement I remembered a drive I took many years ago through Hillsborough, California. Hillsborough is one of the wealthiest communities in America and has the highest income of places in the United States with populations of at least 10,000 (Wikipedia). I was struck by the fact that as I passed hundreds of homes I did not see one brand new car. Most of the automobiles were at least two or three years old.
However, even in our little town of Salinas, California prior to our economic slide I saw big new Mercedes sedans and BMW’s everywhere. A couple of years into our “down” economy that situation has changed dramatically. My wife and I personally know many folks who no longer sport their big expensive luxury car. Is that a bad situation? Or is it in reality a blessing?
As a child one of my favorite relatives was Uncle Bud. Uncle Bud used to say again and again “Our disappointments are our blessings in disguise, because they teach us things we would not have learned otherwise.”
Perhaps the “down” economy has helped many folks learn what the residents of Hillsboro and the millionaire next door already knew. Ignoring for a moment the temporary pain they must experience, losing their excessively expensive luxury cars may have been one of the best things that ever happened to them.
For years I have watched Realtors work with clients to see "how much" house they could qualify for and usually the clients were guided to purchase the biggest house possible. This consideration always seemed to be much more important than the client’s needs. The game seemed to be to move into bigger and bigger houses... with bigger and bigger mortgages. This process frequently necessitated both husband and wife working just to survive. If anything goes wrong, like losing a job or medical problems, they are in over their heads.
This “down” economy has highlighted the fact that many of us live too close to the edge. We are in some ways like children who want more and more candy until it makes them sick. Financial stress plays a significant role in most divorces and exacerbates many health challenges and yet we continue to stretch ourselves to the limit.
Perhaps the blessing of our “down” economy will motivate us to focus more on saving and tithing. Think for a moment what a blessing it would be to have less financial stress in our lives. That would really be something to give thanks for and not just on the fourth Thursday in November!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Continuing a Thanksgiving Tradition
Nineteen tears ago the Cava family in Castroville, CA offered free Thanksgiving dinner to some of their neighbors on their patio. This tradition grew for 18 years. They moved from their patio to the Castroville recreation center and ultimately fed more than 1000 people at one sitting.
Last year they announced that they would no longer be able to provide their traditional Thanksgiving dinner for the community. Much to my surprise one of my daughters stepped up and volunteered to continue the tradition. Why was I so astonished? She works full time. She is working on her Masters degree in grad school, had no experience doing something like this... and had only two weeks to organize the whole affair.
She solicited donations, organized more than 150 volunteers and ultimately provided Thanksgiving dinner for 1500 people and passed out 800 bags of groceries for families to take home. And she is doing it again this year. Wow! God bless the Cava family for starting the tradition and Jamieko and her sister, Beth, and all those who are contributing time and money to keep it going.
Last year they announced that they would no longer be able to provide their traditional Thanksgiving dinner for the community. Much to my surprise one of my daughters stepped up and volunteered to continue the tradition. Why was I so astonished? She works full time. She is working on her Masters degree in grad school, had no experience doing something like this... and had only two weeks to organize the whole affair.
She solicited donations, organized more than 150 volunteers and ultimately provided Thanksgiving dinner for 1500 people and passed out 800 bags of groceries for families to take home. And she is doing it again this year. Wow! God bless the Cava family for starting the tradition and Jamieko and her sister, Beth, and all those who are contributing time and money to keep it going.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Two Months of Health Challenges
Right after starting my blog two months ago I found myself wrestling with three different health challenges simultaneously. I didn't know that writing a blog was going to be so difficult. In addition to my primary challenge, myelofibrosis (a rare form of anemia), I came down with a serious bronchial infection which stopped me from both eating and sleeping. Then to be sure I did not focus on my blog, an ambulance whisked me away to the Emergency Room in the middle of the night with a severe attack of the gout. No typing that night.
Two weeks ago it looked as if I were out of the woods as far as the bronchial infection and the gout. It sure is nice to be able to walk again. Then I encountered two more unexpected bumps in the road, including an administrative wrestling match with my insurance company. My doctors at Stanford prescribed a special medication for my myelofibrosis which local pharmacies do not even stock. However, all is well that ends well. This afternoon UPS delivered the prescription that is supposed to work magic over the next three months.
I am emotionally touched by all the support and prayers from my clients, even including the offer to give blood to help with my multiple transfusions. By the way, the magical prescription I received today is supposed to reduce or possibly eliminate the need for my continual transfusions of red blood cells. YEAH!
Two weeks ago it looked as if I were out of the woods as far as the bronchial infection and the gout. It sure is nice to be able to walk again. Then I encountered two more unexpected bumps in the road, including an administrative wrestling match with my insurance company. My doctors at Stanford prescribed a special medication for my myelofibrosis which local pharmacies do not even stock. However, all is well that ends well. This afternoon UPS delivered the prescription that is supposed to work magic over the next three months.
I am emotionally touched by all the support and prayers from my clients, even including the offer to give blood to help with my multiple transfusions. By the way, the magical prescription I received today is supposed to reduce or possibly eliminate the need for my continual transfusions of red blood cells. YEAH!
Friday, January 23, 2009
The Lane's travel in January
My wife's birthday is the 23rd of December. My birthday is the 23rd of January. This year we decided to celebrate both birthdays together by getting away to the beach the weekend of the 16-18th. Our daughter, Jamieko, picked a wonderful place for us in Pismo Beach (the Sea Venture Resort)and paid for it! Her sister, Kim, paid for all of our food. Are we spoiled or what? The Sea Venture Resort is right on the beach, very private patios with spa and fabulous food. While vacationing I experienced some profound insights, which I will share over the next few weeks.
Jamieko flew off to Thailand on Wednesday (the 21st) to vacation with a girlfriend for two weeks.Her only concern was an eight hour layover in Seoul, Korea. What to do? What to do? Then she found out about the FREE tour of the city which just happened to be at the same time as her layover. Is she lucky or what?
Jamieko flew off to Thailand on Wednesday (the 21st) to vacation with a girlfriend for two weeks.Her only concern was an eight hour layover in Seoul, Korea. What to do? What to do? Then she found out about the FREE tour of the city which just happened to be at the same time as her layover. Is she lucky or what?
Saturday, January 3, 2009
New Year's Resolutions?
Each week or two The Lane-A-Gram will focus on a different topic. The beginning of January seems like a good time to discuss New Year's resolutions. It's a topic that comes to mind for most of us at this time of year.
Twenty years of work in Patternology has convinced me that about 95% of those who consider writing down New Year's resolutions fall into two categories:
1) The first group: For some reason they are unable to list their objectives on paper. They procrastinate. They deny the importance of goal setting. They have failed so many times they have just given up;
2) The second group: They articulate their goals in writing, but they cannot stay focused on activities that will insure that they will achieve their stated objectives. In other words, when it comes to goals, they say one thing and do another.
There is a small third group who think through their objectives, prioritize them, create step by step plans to accomplish goals and get the job done. They make it look so easy and in so doing, they make the rest of feel even more guilty. Most of us know what to do, how to do it and why we should be doing it but... something inside us keeps us from taking the appropriate action in a timely manner. This fortunate 5% cannot understand why the rest of us make goal setting such a big deal. This month I'll shed some light on this perplexing enigma.
The Lane-A-Gram is designed to be a conversation, not a lecture. So before I continue, let's do a quick survey. Post your comments or send me a private email at tedlane@patternology.com.
Which of the three groups mentioned above seems to best describe you? Send me a brief email at tedlane@patternology.com and share your experiences with New Year's resolutions.
Talk to you soon.
TedLane@patternology.com
Twenty years of work in Patternology has convinced me that about 95% of those who consider writing down New Year's resolutions fall into two categories:
1) The first group: For some reason they are unable to list their objectives on paper. They procrastinate. They deny the importance of goal setting. They have failed so many times they have just given up;
2) The second group: They articulate their goals in writing, but they cannot stay focused on activities that will insure that they will achieve their stated objectives. In other words, when it comes to goals, they say one thing and do another.
There is a small third group who think through their objectives, prioritize them, create step by step plans to accomplish goals and get the job done. They make it look so easy and in so doing, they make the rest of feel even more guilty. Most of us know what to do, how to do it and why we should be doing it but... something inside us keeps us from taking the appropriate action in a timely manner. This fortunate 5% cannot understand why the rest of us make goal setting such a big deal. This month I'll shed some light on this perplexing enigma.
The Lane-A-Gram is designed to be a conversation, not a lecture. So before I continue, let's do a quick survey. Post your comments or send me a private email at tedlane@patternology.com.
Which of the three groups mentioned above seems to best describe you? Send me a brief email at tedlane@patternology.com and share your experiences with New Year's resolutions.
Talk to you soon.
TedLane@patternology.com
Friday, January 2, 2009
Patternology Goes International
A small group Patternology session earlier this week included folks from Toronto, South Africa, Michigan, Arizona and California and there was no travel involved. Technology is amazing.
This session focused on eliminating call reluctance for salespeople, a problem that can be handled with Patternology in about two hours for most people. Another international session is scheduled for Sunday.
Patternology Webinar Adventures will kick off January 21st. All webinars are for members only. However, on Wednesdays at 5:30 PM each week (Pacific Time) I will conduct a Question & Answer session open to the public. Questions must be submitted by 2:00 PM the preceding Monday to be included in that week's session. Questions can be posted here under "Questions For Wednesday" or be emailed to tedlane@patternology.com.
Webinars on Patternology will begin on Saturday, January 24th. After completing training almost anyone can learn to eliminate an undesirable attitude or behavior in a couple of hours. However, members must complete a basic Orientation before joining this Webinar series. If you are interested in learning more about Patternology, listen to the Recorded Message at 641-715-3900 (extension 33023#) and then leave your contact information at BTedLane.com.
Webinars on Accelerated Learning Plus and How to Meet, Connect With and Remember People will follow soon. Feel free to express your interest now.
This session focused on eliminating call reluctance for salespeople, a problem that can be handled with Patternology in about two hours for most people. Another international session is scheduled for Sunday.
Patternology Webinar Adventures will kick off January 21st. All webinars are for members only. However, on Wednesdays at 5:30 PM each week (Pacific Time) I will conduct a Question & Answer session open to the public. Questions must be submitted by 2:00 PM the preceding Monday to be included in that week's session. Questions can be posted here under "Questions For Wednesday" or be emailed to tedlane@patternology.com.
Webinars on Patternology will begin on Saturday, January 24th. After completing training almost anyone can learn to eliminate an undesirable attitude or behavior in a couple of hours. However, members must complete a basic Orientation before joining this Webinar series. If you are interested in learning more about Patternology, listen to the Recorded Message at 641-715-3900 (extension 33023#) and then leave your contact information at BTedLane.com.
Webinars on Accelerated Learning Plus and How to Meet, Connect With and Remember People will follow soon. Feel free to express your interest now.
The Lane family 2008
Irene and I celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary this year. Our son Jeff bought us tickets to the Tina Turner concert in San Jose. Not to be outdone, his sister,Kim, reserved us a hotel suite up the street from the event. It was a great night. We have grown to nine children (one adult adoption) and 15 grandchildren (one adopted).
I re-connected with my brother's daughter after 46 years. She graduated from Harvard with a Phd with honors and now works in the President's Office at Columbia University in New York City. My son, Ed, his wife Darlene and their three kids moved back to Ohio. Our extended family now extends from coast to coast. Kim joined the City Year organization and moved to San Jose. She also got engaged on Christmas day. In addition to his paramedic responsibilities, Jeff now also teaches the Emergency Medical Technician course at Hartnell College in Salinas.
After two years Irene and I have completed a major remodel/addition to our home and we are quite pleased. Irene is quite a superintendent/interior decorator.
Irene's Mom celebrated her 81st birthday. I finally went to Stanford to figure out what has been wrong with my health. It turned out to be myelofibrosis. It's manageable, so after a year off I am finally going back to work. Yeah!
Stay tuned here for the Lane family activities in 2009.
I re-connected with my brother's daughter after 46 years. She graduated from Harvard with a Phd with honors and now works in the President's Office at Columbia University in New York City. My son, Ed, his wife Darlene and their three kids moved back to Ohio. Our extended family now extends from coast to coast. Kim joined the City Year organization and moved to San Jose. She also got engaged on Christmas day. In addition to his paramedic responsibilities, Jeff now also teaches the Emergency Medical Technician course at Hartnell College in Salinas.
After two years Irene and I have completed a major remodel/addition to our home and we are quite pleased. Irene is quite a superintendent/interior decorator.
Irene's Mom celebrated her 81st birthday. I finally went to Stanford to figure out what has been wrong with my health. It turned out to be myelofibrosis. It's manageable, so after a year off I am finally going back to work. Yeah!
Stay tuned here for the Lane family activities in 2009.
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