Today there seems to be so little time for silence. When we get in the car, no matter how short the trip, we seem compelled to turn on the radio or listen to a CD. If we take a walk or exercise, we are hooked to our ipod. If we have a free moment, we are connected to our Smart phone. In the house we push out silence by turning the on TV as background noise, even if we are too busy to watch it. And of course, we work in our favorite social media whenever we can (Facebook, Twitter…).
Whatever happened to silence? If we want to hear that Still Small Voice, we need to schedule more time for silence. Think about it.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
THE VISALIA INSIGHT “A new perspective on personal relationships”
THE VISALIA INSIGHT
My wife, Irene, my daughter, Kim, and I were having dinner one Friday evening in Visalia, California. During the dinner a concept was broached that will affect my life for many years to come. The basic idea was put forth by my daughter, Kim, and then discussed and developed during the evening by the three of us.
The Basic Problem
In most families each person is trying to satisfy many of their own personal needs (emotional, physical, financial…) via their personal relationship with the other family members. The other family members are frequently not focused on making this happen. Instead, they are each focused on their own personal needs.
In addition, to make matters more complicated, often each family member is the victim of self-limiting and sometimes self-destructive attitudes and behaviors, which limit their ability to clearly understand and fulfill their own needs, much less the needs of others.
Therefore, the situation in many families is that most members of the family are unfulfilled and not strongly motivated to try to help other family members fulfill their needs. Sometimes family members feel a sense of competition with each other.
If our expectations are based on our fellow family members helping us to fulfill our needs and dreams and goals, we may be frustrated and doomed to failure from the start. In other words, we can only control what we give, not what we receive.
The Second Part of the Concept: GET CONNNECTED!
Each family member might be better served by focusing on a primary relationship with what they perceive to be the Intelligence that created and maintains the universe, instead of making their primary relationship(s) with other family members.
If they make their primary relationship with their Creator, they are partnering with someone who is not limited by self-destructive patterns. With a stronger partner each family member would enjoy a much better chance of being fulfilled and less of a possibility of being disappointed.
Using Patternology daily, we will BE CLEAR as to what that Intelligence expects of us and we will have the best chance of following through on those instructions in a timely manner. These instructions come to us from what we refer to as “SPIRIT.”
“SPIRIT” is an acronym I was given at the time I received the first part of THE GIFT of PATTERNOLOGY.
S System
P Providing
I Inner
R Resources
I In
T Time (
(Inner Resources: the magic that heals a cut finger or broken bone, the strength to save a trapped child)
(In Time: “In Time” means in a timely manner)
Anyone can connect with this SPIRIT by following a simple but precise procedure we call the BE CLEAR process. We will be happy to share with you a copy of this process. We do not suggest that this is the only process by which you can receive guidance but it is a method that seems to work for everyone and it does bypass your ego. This process provides us with specific guidance in the seven areas of our lives on a daily basis and is one key to stress free living.
The seven areas of our life I refer to are:
MENTAL & SPIRITUAL PRACTICES
ACTIVITIES TO DEVELOP HEALTH & ENERGY
STEPS TOWARD FINANCIAL SECURITY
FAMILY & HOME ACTIVITIES
CAREER & BUSINESS ACHIEVEMENTS
LEARNING & TEACHING ACTIVITIES
SOCIAL & RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES
The second part of the BE CLEAR process is to ask yourself (you are really asking SPIRIT) “If I was guaranteed that I could not fail, what would I be doing today?” This question temporarily sweeps away your limitations. Give thought to all seven areas of your life. You will be amazed by the exciting new ideas that will flow into your mind. Be sure to write down these new ideas immediately, preferably in the same place each day.
~~~~~~~~~~`
Most of us are determined to be self-sufficient. We spend most of our time trying to solve our own problems. In fact, we take great pride in being able to solve our own problems. Along with that pride comes worry and stress and the fear of failure or fear of success. We only try to communicate with SPIRIT when we find ourselves unable to handle our current situation, then we ask for help – and that seems perfectly natural to us.
The Bible suggests that we would be better off to be more humble and not so self-sufficient. We are told to allow ourselves to be guided in everything. In 1st Peter, Chapter 5: verses 6-7 we find
So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in his good time he will honor you. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you. (New Living Translation)
You’ll notice that it does not say to hand off your tough problems to SPIRIT. It says that we should give all our worries to Him. Using the BE CLEAR process every morning will do just that.
The Third Part of the Concept: Eliminate Fears & Blocks
If you use the BE CLEAR process every morning, your only real obstacles will be your own self- limiting and self-destructive attitudes and behaviors which keeps you from understanding what your Creator wants you to do, or which, even if you understand what is expected, keeps you from following through and doing your Creator’s will. How often do we know what to do, how to do it and even why we should be doing something but… we don’t take the appropriate action in a timely manner?
Therefore, we must regularly practice Patternology™ to eliminate our self-limiting and self-destructive patterns so that we may enjoy the maximum benefit of our primary relationship with the Higher Intelligence within us. Using the Eliminating Invisible Barriers (EIB) process we can neutralize self-limiting patterns such as procrastination, fear of or expectation of failure in certain areas of our life, uncontrolled anger, blocks against setting or pursuing personally meaningful goals, eating disorders, financial self-sabotage and many other undesirable patterns. (Ask about our EIB process.)
The Fourth Part of the Concept: Support Your Neighbor
Part four of the concept will probably happen naturally. We each need to focus on fulfilling the needs of our fellow family members and not just selfishly focus on fulfilling our own needs. We need to let go and let SPIRIT take care of our needs. SPIRIT’s guidance empowers us individually and shows us where and how to support others.
For example, there are currently eight people living in our home. Using this model, seven people would be working to fulfill my needs and dreams and goals instead of just me. This would be true for each family member. Seven other people, including myself, would be working to help them fulfill their needs. This model provides maximum support for each family member.
Following this model our primary relationship is with SPIRIT. Our primary responsibility is to BE CLEAR as to what SPIRIT expects of us one day at a time and to follow those instructions to the best of our ability. Our secondary relationships are supporting others the way we are being supported by SPIRIT… that is with unconditional love.
Under this model the “family” we are to support extends beyond the house we live in and our blood relatives. All mankind (and women and children too ) become our brothers and sisters. The person next to us becomes our purpose. In other words, SPIRIT empowers us and we support everyone else.
Instead of focusing on finding ways to help our brothers and sisters, we often remain self-absorbed. If we have any time or energy left over, then we think about helping our neighbors. Most of our focus is on me, me, me and we tend to attract not what we want or need but who we are (other folks who are also self-absorbed). And we wonder why we often feel isolated and alone. Action equals reaction. The more people we help, the more people we will find who want to help us.
However, when we follow this new model, we help others with a much different attitude. When we support others we do not expect anything from them. We do not even need thanks. Why? We are not doing it for them. We are doing it for SPIRIT. In supporting others we are doing SPIRIT’s work. Daily SPIRIT will show us where we are needed. SPIRIT takes care of our needs so that we are free to help others! We are to support others the way we are supported.
If everyone would communicate with SPIRIT each morning and followed SPIRIT’s guidance as to what they needed to do that day, every individual would be empowered and every person that that individual came in contact with that day would be supported in just the right way.
In other words, if everyone communicated with SPIRIT every morning before starting their day, everyone’s needs could be taken care of perfectly. If everyone’s needs were taken care of perfectly every day, we would all experience much more love and harmony and peace with a maximum of productivity and prosperity.
Again, the key to achieving this perfect situation: Each day we need to allow SPIRIT to take care of our needs and to empower us while we support everyone around us. This routine would make life truly a MAGIC JOURNEY.
My wife, Irene, my daughter, Kim, and I were having dinner one Friday evening in Visalia, California. During the dinner a concept was broached that will affect my life for many years to come. The basic idea was put forth by my daughter, Kim, and then discussed and developed during the evening by the three of us.
The Basic Problem
In most families each person is trying to satisfy many of their own personal needs (emotional, physical, financial…) via their personal relationship with the other family members. The other family members are frequently not focused on making this happen. Instead, they are each focused on their own personal needs.
In addition, to make matters more complicated, often each family member is the victim of self-limiting and sometimes self-destructive attitudes and behaviors, which limit their ability to clearly understand and fulfill their own needs, much less the needs of others.
Therefore, the situation in many families is that most members of the family are unfulfilled and not strongly motivated to try to help other family members fulfill their needs. Sometimes family members feel a sense of competition with each other.
If our expectations are based on our fellow family members helping us to fulfill our needs and dreams and goals, we may be frustrated and doomed to failure from the start. In other words, we can only control what we give, not what we receive.
The Second Part of the Concept: GET CONNNECTED!
Each family member might be better served by focusing on a primary relationship with what they perceive to be the Intelligence that created and maintains the universe, instead of making their primary relationship(s) with other family members.
If they make their primary relationship with their Creator, they are partnering with someone who is not limited by self-destructive patterns. With a stronger partner each family member would enjoy a much better chance of being fulfilled and less of a possibility of being disappointed.
Using Patternology daily, we will BE CLEAR as to what that Intelligence expects of us and we will have the best chance of following through on those instructions in a timely manner. These instructions come to us from what we refer to as “SPIRIT.”
“SPIRIT” is an acronym I was given at the time I received the first part of THE GIFT of PATTERNOLOGY.
S System
P Providing
I Inner
R Resources
I In
T Time (
(Inner Resources: the magic that heals a cut finger or broken bone, the strength to save a trapped child)
(In Time: “In Time” means in a timely manner)
Anyone can connect with this SPIRIT by following a simple but precise procedure we call the BE CLEAR process. We will be happy to share with you a copy of this process. We do not suggest that this is the only process by which you can receive guidance but it is a method that seems to work for everyone and it does bypass your ego. This process provides us with specific guidance in the seven areas of our lives on a daily basis and is one key to stress free living.
The seven areas of our life I refer to are:
MENTAL & SPIRITUAL PRACTICES
ACTIVITIES TO DEVELOP HEALTH & ENERGY
STEPS TOWARD FINANCIAL SECURITY
FAMILY & HOME ACTIVITIES
CAREER & BUSINESS ACHIEVEMENTS
LEARNING & TEACHING ACTIVITIES
SOCIAL & RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES
The second part of the BE CLEAR process is to ask yourself (you are really asking SPIRIT) “If I was guaranteed that I could not fail, what would I be doing today?” This question temporarily sweeps away your limitations. Give thought to all seven areas of your life. You will be amazed by the exciting new ideas that will flow into your mind. Be sure to write down these new ideas immediately, preferably in the same place each day.
~~~~~~~~~~`
Most of us are determined to be self-sufficient. We spend most of our time trying to solve our own problems. In fact, we take great pride in being able to solve our own problems. Along with that pride comes worry and stress and the fear of failure or fear of success. We only try to communicate with SPIRIT when we find ourselves unable to handle our current situation, then we ask for help – and that seems perfectly natural to us.
The Bible suggests that we would be better off to be more humble and not so self-sufficient. We are told to allow ourselves to be guided in everything. In 1st Peter, Chapter 5: verses 6-7 we find
So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in his good time he will honor you. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you. (New Living Translation)
You’ll notice that it does not say to hand off your tough problems to SPIRIT. It says that we should give all our worries to Him. Using the BE CLEAR process every morning will do just that.
The Third Part of the Concept: Eliminate Fears & Blocks
If you use the BE CLEAR process every morning, your only real obstacles will be your own self- limiting and self-destructive attitudes and behaviors which keeps you from understanding what your Creator wants you to do, or which, even if you understand what is expected, keeps you from following through and doing your Creator’s will. How often do we know what to do, how to do it and even why we should be doing something but… we don’t take the appropriate action in a timely manner?
Therefore, we must regularly practice Patternology™ to eliminate our self-limiting and self-destructive patterns so that we may enjoy the maximum benefit of our primary relationship with the Higher Intelligence within us. Using the Eliminating Invisible Barriers (EIB) process we can neutralize self-limiting patterns such as procrastination, fear of or expectation of failure in certain areas of our life, uncontrolled anger, blocks against setting or pursuing personally meaningful goals, eating disorders, financial self-sabotage and many other undesirable patterns. (Ask about our EIB process.)
The Fourth Part of the Concept: Support Your Neighbor
Part four of the concept will probably happen naturally. We each need to focus on fulfilling the needs of our fellow family members and not just selfishly focus on fulfilling our own needs. We need to let go and let SPIRIT take care of our needs. SPIRIT’s guidance empowers us individually and shows us where and how to support others.
For example, there are currently eight people living in our home. Using this model, seven people would be working to fulfill my needs and dreams and goals instead of just me. This would be true for each family member. Seven other people, including myself, would be working to help them fulfill their needs. This model provides maximum support for each family member.
Following this model our primary relationship is with SPIRIT. Our primary responsibility is to BE CLEAR as to what SPIRIT expects of us one day at a time and to follow those instructions to the best of our ability. Our secondary relationships are supporting others the way we are being supported by SPIRIT… that is with unconditional love.
Under this model the “family” we are to support extends beyond the house we live in and our blood relatives. All mankind (and women and children too ) become our brothers and sisters. The person next to us becomes our purpose. In other words, SPIRIT empowers us and we support everyone else.
Instead of focusing on finding ways to help our brothers and sisters, we often remain self-absorbed. If we have any time or energy left over, then we think about helping our neighbors. Most of our focus is on me, me, me and we tend to attract not what we want or need but who we are (other folks who are also self-absorbed). And we wonder why we often feel isolated and alone. Action equals reaction. The more people we help, the more people we will find who want to help us.
However, when we follow this new model, we help others with a much different attitude. When we support others we do not expect anything from them. We do not even need thanks. Why? We are not doing it for them. We are doing it for SPIRIT. In supporting others we are doing SPIRIT’s work. Daily SPIRIT will show us where we are needed. SPIRIT takes care of our needs so that we are free to help others! We are to support others the way we are supported.
If everyone would communicate with SPIRIT each morning and followed SPIRIT’s guidance as to what they needed to do that day, every individual would be empowered and every person that that individual came in contact with that day would be supported in just the right way.
In other words, if everyone communicated with SPIRIT every morning before starting their day, everyone’s needs could be taken care of perfectly. If everyone’s needs were taken care of perfectly every day, we would all experience much more love and harmony and peace with a maximum of productivity and prosperity.
Again, the key to achieving this perfect situation: Each day we need to allow SPIRIT to take care of our needs and to empower us while we support everyone around us. This routine would make life truly a MAGIC JOURNEY.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
What A Day
The Castroville Community Thanksgiving Dinner was put together by 296 volunteers. It was quite inspirational watching the day unfold. In addition to the huge sit down dinner at the Castroville City Recreation Center, the organizers also brought food to two women’s shelters, the Victory Mission, AMR (the local ambulance company whose team members had to work throughout the county on the holiday) and Dorothy’s Kitchen (a team that feeds the homeless daily throughout the year).
The size of the effort was mind boggling: 70 turkeys, 28 hams, 100 cases of vegetables/salad and 5 gallons of dressing, 10 paint cans of potatoes, 400 pounds of dressing, 1500 rolls and to top it off, 187 pies. In addition to 1300 people enjoying dinner, the team also provided 768 bags of groceries for the families to take home.
All of this was made possible by contributions… of food, time and money, from individuals and organizations. There were also hundreds and hundreds of placemats created by local school children. Watching the smiles on the faces of the volunteers and hearing them already planning to be back next year was priceless. People really enjoy helping others.
The size of the effort was mind boggling: 70 turkeys, 28 hams, 100 cases of vegetables/salad and 5 gallons of dressing, 10 paint cans of potatoes, 400 pounds of dressing, 1500 rolls and to top it off, 187 pies. In addition to 1300 people enjoying dinner, the team also provided 768 bags of groceries for the families to take home.
All of this was made possible by contributions… of food, time and money, from individuals and organizations. There were also hundreds and hundreds of placemats created by local school children. Watching the smiles on the faces of the volunteers and hearing them already planning to be back next year was priceless. People really enjoy helping others.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
A NEW THANKSGIVING TRADITION
At thanksgiving we traditionally give thanks for our blessings, the good things that have happened to us during the year. These blessings might traditionally include things like being happy and healthy, safe and secure, prosperous and loving.
At breakfast yesterday it occurred to me that it would increase our happiness if we could find blessings in more places, even in places that other people consider bad.
For example, many people think of this “down” economy as a bad thing and this leads to lots of unhappiness. I asked myself, "Are there blessings in experiencing this “down” economy?" After a bit of thought I realized that this current economic situation might be one of our biggest blessings.
At first glance, situations like the rampant unemployment, the real estate devaluation and tight money appear to be anything but a blessing. However, these situations are stopping us from practices which we grew to accept as normal, which in fact were quite self-destructive.
Dr Thomas Stanley, in his enlightening book The Millionaire Next door, suggests that the true measure of wealth is not how many expensive toys you own or even how high your income, but how long you can live without the need to go to work to earn an income.
When I read that statement I remembered a drive I took many years ago through Hillsborough, California. Hillsborough is one of the wealthiest communities in America and has the highest income of places in the United States with populations of at least 10,000 (Wikipedia). I was struck by the fact that as I passed hundreds of homes I did not see one brand new car. Most of the automobiles were at least two or three years old.
However, even in our little town of Salinas, California prior to our economic slide I saw big new Mercedes sedans and BMW’s everywhere. A couple of years into our “down” economy that situation has changed dramatically. My wife and I personally know many folks who no longer sport their big expensive luxury car. Is that a bad situation? Or is it in reality a blessing?
As a child one of my favorite relatives was Uncle Bud. Uncle Bud used to say again and again “Our disappointments are our blessings in disguise, because they teach us things we would not have learned otherwise.”
Perhaps the “down” economy has helped many folks learn what the residents of Hillsboro and the millionaire next door already knew. Ignoring for a moment the temporary pain they must experience, losing their excessively expensive luxury cars may have been one of the best things that ever happened to them.
For years I have watched Realtors work with clients to see "how much" house they could qualify for and usually the clients were guided to purchase the biggest house possible. This consideration always seemed to be much more important than the client’s needs. The game seemed to be to move into bigger and bigger houses... with bigger and bigger mortgages. This process frequently necessitated both husband and wife working just to survive. If anything goes wrong, like losing a job or medical problems, they are in over their heads.
This “down” economy has highlighted the fact that many of us live too close to the edge. We are in some ways like children who want more and more candy until it makes them sick. Financial stress plays a significant role in most divorces and exacerbates many health challenges and yet we continue to stretch ourselves to the limit.
Perhaps the blessing of our “down” economy will motivate us to focus more on saving and tithing. Think for a moment what a blessing it would be to have less financial stress in our lives. That would really be something to give thanks for and not just on the fourth Thursday in November!
At breakfast yesterday it occurred to me that it would increase our happiness if we could find blessings in more places, even in places that other people consider bad.
For example, many people think of this “down” economy as a bad thing and this leads to lots of unhappiness. I asked myself, "Are there blessings in experiencing this “down” economy?" After a bit of thought I realized that this current economic situation might be one of our biggest blessings.
At first glance, situations like the rampant unemployment, the real estate devaluation and tight money appear to be anything but a blessing. However, these situations are stopping us from practices which we grew to accept as normal, which in fact were quite self-destructive.
Dr Thomas Stanley, in his enlightening book The Millionaire Next door, suggests that the true measure of wealth is not how many expensive toys you own or even how high your income, but how long you can live without the need to go to work to earn an income.
When I read that statement I remembered a drive I took many years ago through Hillsborough, California. Hillsborough is one of the wealthiest communities in America and has the highest income of places in the United States with populations of at least 10,000 (Wikipedia). I was struck by the fact that as I passed hundreds of homes I did not see one brand new car. Most of the automobiles were at least two or three years old.
However, even in our little town of Salinas, California prior to our economic slide I saw big new Mercedes sedans and BMW’s everywhere. A couple of years into our “down” economy that situation has changed dramatically. My wife and I personally know many folks who no longer sport their big expensive luxury car. Is that a bad situation? Or is it in reality a blessing?
As a child one of my favorite relatives was Uncle Bud. Uncle Bud used to say again and again “Our disappointments are our blessings in disguise, because they teach us things we would not have learned otherwise.”
Perhaps the “down” economy has helped many folks learn what the residents of Hillsboro and the millionaire next door already knew. Ignoring for a moment the temporary pain they must experience, losing their excessively expensive luxury cars may have been one of the best things that ever happened to them.
For years I have watched Realtors work with clients to see "how much" house they could qualify for and usually the clients were guided to purchase the biggest house possible. This consideration always seemed to be much more important than the client’s needs. The game seemed to be to move into bigger and bigger houses... with bigger and bigger mortgages. This process frequently necessitated both husband and wife working just to survive. If anything goes wrong, like losing a job or medical problems, they are in over their heads.
This “down” economy has highlighted the fact that many of us live too close to the edge. We are in some ways like children who want more and more candy until it makes them sick. Financial stress plays a significant role in most divorces and exacerbates many health challenges and yet we continue to stretch ourselves to the limit.
Perhaps the blessing of our “down” economy will motivate us to focus more on saving and tithing. Think for a moment what a blessing it would be to have less financial stress in our lives. That would really be something to give thanks for and not just on the fourth Thursday in November!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Continuing a Thanksgiving Tradition
Nineteen tears ago the Cava family in Castroville, CA offered free Thanksgiving dinner to some of their neighbors on their patio. This tradition grew for 18 years. They moved from their patio to the Castroville recreation center and ultimately fed more than 1000 people at one sitting.
Last year they announced that they would no longer be able to provide their traditional Thanksgiving dinner for the community. Much to my surprise one of my daughters stepped up and volunteered to continue the tradition. Why was I so astonished? She works full time. She is working on her Masters degree in grad school, had no experience doing something like this... and had only two weeks to organize the whole affair.
She solicited donations, organized more than 150 volunteers and ultimately provided Thanksgiving dinner for 1500 people and passed out 800 bags of groceries for families to take home. And she is doing it again this year. Wow! God bless the Cava family for starting the tradition and Jamieko and her sister, Beth, and all those who are contributing time and money to keep it going.
Last year they announced that they would no longer be able to provide their traditional Thanksgiving dinner for the community. Much to my surprise one of my daughters stepped up and volunteered to continue the tradition. Why was I so astonished? She works full time. She is working on her Masters degree in grad school, had no experience doing something like this... and had only two weeks to organize the whole affair.
She solicited donations, organized more than 150 volunteers and ultimately provided Thanksgiving dinner for 1500 people and passed out 800 bags of groceries for families to take home. And she is doing it again this year. Wow! God bless the Cava family for starting the tradition and Jamieko and her sister, Beth, and all those who are contributing time and money to keep it going.
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